i dun want to live in fear..
fear of losing u..
fear of losing my life..
when u told me u were so vulnerable...
praying hard..
my life will be under my control..
no one shall ever know wat i have been n am going through now..
becoz i believe God has His own plans for me..
n i m on the rite path i suppose..
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
stay strong..
like a caterpillar turns into a butterfly..
when i broke down last nite,
i was in a vulnerable n weak state..
now i really need someone dearly to catch my tears..
answer my prayer,God...
pull me through all the pain n hurt..
i dun wanna be sad n have tears.........................................
when i broke down last nite,
i was in a vulnerable n weak state..
now i really need someone dearly to catch my tears..
answer my prayer,God...
pull me through all the pain n hurt..
i dun wanna be sad n have tears.........................................
Monday, 10 October 2011
last stike...
Emotional over friendship and passion,
Emotional over sick relative,
Emotional over heartbreak,
Emotional over studies and stress,
Emotional even over the weather...
Life is always changing and it is unpredictable,
As God doesn't always make things go according to our will.
There're always times that we feel like it's the end of the world and we wanna give up,
But it's not the end, it's just a challenge God has created for you and me.
He wants us to be strong, to keep on moving.
To be the one that is worth to be alive.
Thursday, 29 September 2011
come n go..
Over the course of an average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin, some weave their way through your life and disapear forever.
But every once and awhile someone comes along who earns a permanent spot in your heart.
But every once and awhile someone comes along who earns a permanent spot in your heart.
Friday, 16 September 2011
inner strength..
feel safe to sleep tight every nite.
no one can hand me down.
nobody can break me down.
i believe so.
during nite time,all hell breaks loose,
tears streamed down my cheecks as i drifted off to sleep.
it was when all my sadness,anger and disappointment engulfed me.
it was when my sodden depth despair brought cries n nightmares to me.
but my inner strength seemed to have taken away my tears n sadness.
the special three parts tat i have owned seemed to have brought me out of the darkness n again put smiles on my face.
now light have come to me and i realize tat everything is so beautiful in my life.
karyn is B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L
no one can hand me down.
nobody can break me down.
i believe so.
during nite time,all hell breaks loose,
tears streamed down my cheecks as i drifted off to sleep.
it was when all my sadness,anger and disappointment engulfed me.
it was when my sodden depth despair brought cries n nightmares to me.
but my inner strength seemed to have taken away my tears n sadness.
the special three parts tat i have owned seemed to have brought me out of the darkness n again put smiles on my face.
now light have come to me and i realize tat everything is so beautiful in my life.
karyn is B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L
Sunday, 4 September 2011
babbling with a sick mind..
i guess all things in life have a limit to their capacity. Maybe it's just me but it seems that we tend to hold back and retain wat we want to give out in the first place. The common fear of giving out too much which incurs counter-rxn has anchored its permanent place within us all along. The fear of baring out hearts, the fear of others' perspective on us, the fear of rejection.
And that's the reason why we often find ourselves in loneliness. Becoz our unreasonably timidness forbids us frm stepping out, and our chances of attaining true happiness are swept away. Some say the courage of being rejected is the price we need to pay, but some of us cannot afford it. Vulnerability? Cowardice? Over self-protection?
There are times when we really give out and regret later on. We havent got the results we want to see and produce counter-effect in some cases. Expectation on our actions and their consequences dont always see each other eye to eye. That's when we sulk and want so badly things to turn out otherwise.
regret starts to fill my aching heart.
prayer leads me out of the dark.
the darkest hour is just before the dawn.
i shall believe God has his own plans for me, and he shall answer my prayer......
karyn must pick herself up,dust herself off,and begin again her life in SAMURA.
wipe away ur tears becoz the faith is inside u now.
feel the WHOLE of it..
And that's the reason why we often find ourselves in loneliness. Becoz our unreasonably timidness forbids us frm stepping out, and our chances of attaining true happiness are swept away. Some say the courage of being rejected is the price we need to pay, but some of us cannot afford it. Vulnerability? Cowardice? Over self-protection?
There are times when we really give out and regret later on. We havent got the results we want to see and produce counter-effect in some cases. Expectation on our actions and their consequences dont always see each other eye to eye. That's when we sulk and want so badly things to turn out otherwise.
regret starts to fill my aching heart.
prayer leads me out of the dark.
the darkest hour is just before the dawn.
i shall believe God has his own plans for me, and he shall answer my prayer......
karyn must pick herself up,dust herself off,and begin again her life in SAMURA.
wipe away ur tears becoz the faith is inside u now.
feel the WHOLE of it..
Monday, 29 August 2011
谢谢特别的你。
是的，选择不看，也就拒绝了伤心。
是的，别无选择时，就闭上眼睛对着天空微笑。
沉默了。搁浅了。
不要现在，昨夜走得太快。
带着期待，缓缓地走向满地荆棘。
跌倒了怎么办？
流血了怎么办？
泪流了怎么办？
人越大，越孤单。
没有谁能陪伴着谁。
祖环，是时候咬紧牙关坚强地走下去了。
在忍一忍，一切都能熬过来的。
相信，明天的太阳会是新的。
闭上眼，慢慢重温一直在的心疼，还有那放不下的割舍。
She didn't want to admit it.It was easier to lie.Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.
Have you ever lived her life, have you ever spent one minute in her shoes? If you haven't, then tell her why you judge her like you do.
She says she doesn't care, but her eyes tell a different story.
Behind her smile is a hurting heart.Behind her laugh, she is falling apart.She acts like she doesnt care,despite it hurts..
是的，别无选择时，就闭上眼睛对着天空微笑。
沉默了。搁浅了。
不要现在，昨夜走得太快。
带着期待，缓缓地走向满地荆棘。
跌倒了怎么办？
流血了怎么办？
泪流了怎么办？
人越大，越孤单。
没有谁能陪伴着谁。
祖环，是时候咬紧牙关坚强地走下去了。
在忍一忍，一切都能熬过来的。
相信，明天的太阳会是新的。
闭上眼，慢慢重温一直在的心疼，还有那放不下的割舍。
She didn't want to admit it.It was easier to lie.Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.
Have you ever lived her life, have you ever spent one minute in her shoes? If you haven't, then tell her why you judge her like you do.
She says she doesn't care, but her eyes tell a different story.
Behind her smile is a hurting heart.Behind her laugh, she is falling apart.She acts like she doesnt care,despite it hurts..
Sunday, 28 August 2011
tom yam~~
Friday, 26 August 2011
happiness..
may i have a blissful hols..=))
shape my heart v happiness.
sweep away n turn my back to all the unhappiness.
be determined,karyn ter~~!!!
i am in love again~~!!!yoyoyo~~^^
shape my heart v happiness.
sweep away n turn my back to all the unhappiness.
be determined,karyn ter~~!!!
i am in love again~~!!!yoyoyo~~^^
Thursday, 25 August 2011
darkness..
i never thought it would be easy.
coz we both are so distant now.
and the walls are closing in on us,
and we are wondering how.
no one has a solid answer.
but just walking in the dark.
and you can see the look on my faces.
and it tears me apart.
so we fight through the hurt.
and we cry and cry and cry and cry.
and we live and we learn.
and we try and try and try and try.
so it's up to you n it's up to me.
then we meet in the middle onour way back down to Earth.
coz we both are so distant now.
and the walls are closing in on us,
and we are wondering how.
no one has a solid answer.
but just walking in the dark.
and you can see the look on my faces.
and it tears me apart.
so we fight through the hurt.
and we cry and cry and cry and cry.
and we live and we learn.
and we try and try and try and try.
so it's up to you n it's up to me.
then we meet in the middle onour way back down to Earth.
Friday, 19 August 2011
heavy heart..
i remembered vividly that in my previous blog,i mentioned about attachment n detachment..
with so many people come n go in my life,
i felt a sense of loss n perhaps betrayal..
yeap,i cldnt deny that i am afraid of being attached to another person again.
it broke me once.
it did break me into pieces.
i was too weak to see people leaving me behind.
in some ways,we all have a hole in our roof,a gap through which tears fall n bad events blow like harsh wind. We feel vulnerable;we worry about storm will strike next.
but life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass,its all about learning to dance in the rain.
i should be ashamed of thinking not to attach myself to anyone,not to lay my heart to anyone in which i know i will sacrifice everything to the particular person, not to love n care for anyone whole-heartedly.
i should be blamed for thinking of being cold-blooded.
becoz i know it's goddamn hard for me to leg go,and i wldnt leg go.
i treat everyone sincerely n yet i know not everyone treats me back the same way.
sometimes i do feel disappointed n hurt.
sometimes i am so silly to be upset over it.
this surface attachment has already made me sssoooo painful,
wat if i go on further more??
still,we are human beings..
life is a process of learning..
learn abt people,learn abt environment,learn abt the world.
so we cnt be all alone.
we need someone who know us well enough to enter our world.
be it ur family,bestie or sweetie.
becoz u can know the whole world and still feel lost in it.
without love,we are birds without wings.
take any emotion-love for a person,or grief for ur loss.
if we hold back on the emotions-if we dun allow ourselves to go all the way through them-we can never get to being detached,we are too busy being afraid. We are afraid of the pain,we are afraid of the grief. We are afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing ourselves into these emotions,by allowing ourselves to dive in,all the way,over our head even,we experience them fully n completely. We know wat pain is. We know wat love is.
To me,karyn has waited a lifetime for a moment like this.
time will tell everything.
deep down in my heart i know wat kind of life i want.
but i cldnt say it out yet.
Not to anyone. Not the right time.
so many people are in pain-no matter how smart or accomplished-they cry,they yearn,they hurt. But instead of looking down on things,they look up,which is where i shld have been looking,too. Becoz when the world quiets to the sound of ur own breathing,we all want the same things:comfort,love n a peaceful heart.
this short two years in SAMURA are the best ingredients n nutrients that i have ever had before.
i have learnt to stand on my two feet in which to face heartwarming n heartbreaking moments.
i am sure this two years life in SAMURA will shine and leave me forever warmed by its afterglow.
time flies. and we are going to bid farewell to one another very soon. Yeap,every attachment comes with its detachment.
time for us to detach ourselves from one another.
with so many people come n go in my life,
i felt a sense of loss n perhaps betrayal..
yeap,i cldnt deny that i am afraid of being attached to another person again.
it broke me once.
it did break me into pieces.
i was too weak to see people leaving me behind.
in some ways,we all have a hole in our roof,a gap through which tears fall n bad events blow like harsh wind. We feel vulnerable;we worry about storm will strike next.
but life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass,its all about learning to dance in the rain.
i should be ashamed of thinking not to attach myself to anyone,not to lay my heart to anyone in which i know i will sacrifice everything to the particular person, not to love n care for anyone whole-heartedly.
i should be blamed for thinking of being cold-blooded.
becoz i know it's goddamn hard for me to leg go,and i wldnt leg go.
i treat everyone sincerely n yet i know not everyone treats me back the same way.
sometimes i do feel disappointed n hurt.
sometimes i am so silly to be upset over it.
this surface attachment has already made me sssoooo painful,
wat if i go on further more??
still,we are human beings..
life is a process of learning..
learn abt people,learn abt environment,learn abt the world.
so we cnt be all alone.
we need someone who know us well enough to enter our world.
be it ur family,bestie or sweetie.
becoz u can know the whole world and still feel lost in it.
without love,we are birds without wings.
take any emotion-love for a person,or grief for ur loss.
if we hold back on the emotions-if we dun allow ourselves to go all the way through them-we can never get to being detached,we are too busy being afraid. We are afraid of the pain,we are afraid of the grief. We are afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing ourselves into these emotions,by allowing ourselves to dive in,all the way,over our head even,we experience them fully n completely. We know wat pain is. We know wat love is.
To me,karyn has waited a lifetime for a moment like this.
time will tell everything.
deep down in my heart i know wat kind of life i want.
but i cldnt say it out yet.
Not to anyone. Not the right time.
so many people are in pain-no matter how smart or accomplished-they cry,they yearn,they hurt. But instead of looking down on things,they look up,which is where i shld have been looking,too. Becoz when the world quiets to the sound of ur own breathing,we all want the same things:comfort,love n a peaceful heart.
this short two years in SAMURA are the best ingredients n nutrients that i have ever had before.
i have learnt to stand on my two feet in which to face heartwarming n heartbreaking moments.
i am sure this two years life in SAMURA will shine and leave me forever warmed by its afterglow.
time flies. and we are going to bid farewell to one another very soon. Yeap,every attachment comes with its detachment.
time for us to detach ourselves from one another.
Thursday, 11 August 2011
have a little faith..
i was in love with hope but God seemed to take it all away from me..
i yearn,i cry n i hurt..
tears arent enough to wash away all my pain..
look into the room of my heart,
there was too much to bear yet i know tat i cldnt give up no matter wat..
its a wrong-doing if i run away from it..
but it seemed i have ady lost all the faith in myself.
T.T
i yearn,i cry n i hurt..
tears arent enough to wash away all my pain..
look into the room of my heart,
there was too much to bear yet i know tat i cldnt give up no matter wat..
its a wrong-doing if i run away from it..
but it seemed i have ady lost all the faith in myself.
T.T
Saturday, 30 July 2011
Friday, 15 July 2011
a special dedication..
when it seems tat u've prayed till your strength is gone, and your tears fall like raindrops all day long, remember someone is there who cares about you. This person knows just how much you can bear and feels hurts when u are in pain. your pain,stress and tears have caused greater pain to that particular person.
but remember, this person will speak ur name in her prayer,to have the clouds round you which gathered in the midst of a storm to disappear,so that you will have a clearer path in your journey of life. when you are tossed n battered or u r weary n worn, just rmb not to lose hope becoz someone is praying for this very day. And peace is already on the way becoz the person is praying for you, hoping that everything will be fine for u. When it seems you are all alone n your heart would break into two, rmb someone is praying for you. it is simply becoz this person has her eyes on u n will be there for u no matter wat. this person will be there when u fall so tat she can offer her hand to help. this person will also be there when u need someone to talk to. this person will be there for u at anytime n anywhere. just rmb tat u r not all alone becoz this person is simply there for u.
![]()
but remember, this person will speak ur name in her prayer,to have the clouds round you which gathered in the midst of a storm to disappear,so that you will have a clearer path in your journey of life. when you are tossed n battered or u r weary n worn, just rmb not to lose hope becoz someone is praying for this very day. And peace is already on the way becoz the person is praying for you, hoping that everything will be fine for u. When it seems you are all alone n your heart would break into two, rmb someone is praying for you. it is simply becoz this person has her eyes on u n will be there for u no matter wat. this person will be there when u fall so tat she can offer her hand to help. this person will also be there when u need someone to talk to. this person will be there for u at anytime n anywhere. just rmb tat u r not all alone becoz this person is simply there for u.
Friday, 17 June 2011
I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all
i read a status just now: ears, if put together,is shaped like a heart. Ears are the extension of the heart.so if you know how to listen,u know how to love.
thnx dearie for lending me ur ears..
thnx for ur love n care when i had broken down..
thnx for ur support when i was so down tat almost drove me mad.
thnx for letting me crying on ur shoulder for so many hours.
it did let THEM go. =))
yea,we cldnt stop anything frm happening,such as betrayal which is goddamn sucks for me, but lets take it as lessons in life..
it's part n parcel of life.
i must admit tat i have changed.
from better to worse.
in front of u,
i m who i m.
i let u see how evil i m,i show u the shape of my heart.
i m born to be SOMEBODY.
but u listen to me all the time,u really really understand me all the time.
i m not saying tat i m perfect,
but at least i cld figure things out rationally.
i may face a quandary,doubt or even issue now.
Go beyond the superficial for the kind of change i want n deserve.
when the hour has truly come,
so too has come a moment where from somewhere within myself in which i find a person or resource tat i can draw on.
it will not let me down n by then i will be deeply touched by the way the difficult issue eventually resolve themselves with almost magical ease.Just believe my natural entitlement.
u guys may find the darkness of karyn now.
but I M NOT AS FAKE AS U GUYS.!!!
at least my consious is always clear.
sorry to say to gals in muar,
we have taken things for granted.
we are not being honest to one another.
we are lying to our own selves.
we are losing our soul.
we are not believing but doubting one another.
we seldom be frank abt our feelings.
......>>>
we are fading away our friendship.
back to home,i realize how scary n miserable weeks tat i have gone through.
doubled-faces friends n the true colour of them.
a friend in need is a friend indeed.
![]()
karyn is lost in her way n tired to go on.
I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all
i read a status just now: ears, if put together,is shaped like a heart. Ears are the extension of the heart.so if you know how to listen,u know how to love.
thnx dearie for lending me ur ears..
thnx for ur love n care when i had broken down..
thnx for ur support when i was so down tat almost drove me mad.
thnx for letting me crying on ur shoulder for so many hours.
it did let THEM go. =))
yea,we cldnt stop anything frm happening,such as betrayal which is goddamn sucks for me, but lets take it as lessons in life..
it's part n parcel of life.
i must admit tat i have changed.
from better to worse.
in front of u,
i m who i m.
i let u see how evil i m,i show u the shape of my heart.
i m born to be SOMEBODY.
but u listen to me all the time,u really really understand me all the time.
i m not saying tat i m perfect,
but at least i cld figure things out rationally.
i may face a quandary,doubt or even issue now.
Go beyond the superficial for the kind of change i want n deserve.
when the hour has truly come,
so too has come a moment where from somewhere within myself in which i find a person or resource tat i can draw on.
it will not let me down n by then i will be deeply touched by the way the difficult issue eventually resolve themselves with almost magical ease.Just believe my natural entitlement.
u guys may find the darkness of karyn now.
but I M NOT AS FAKE AS U GUYS.!!!
at least my consious is always clear.
sorry to say to gals in muar,
we have taken things for granted.
we are not being honest to one another.
we are lying to our own selves.
we are losing our soul.
we are not believing but doubting one another.
we seldom be frank abt our feelings.
......>>>
we are fading away our friendship.
back to home,i realize how scary n miserable weeks tat i have gone through.
doubled-faces friends n the true colour of them.
a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
my bao bei aunt..
karyn is waiting for ur return..
a lot of bittersweet stories she wanna shares v u...
how she wishes tat u cld appear in front of her now..
she needs ur shoulder now..
too tired to go..
too heartbreak to hope..
in muar,
she trusts u the most.
she knows tat u r the only one who will by her side whenever ups or downs.
karyn is in agony now..**
a lot of bittersweet stories she wanna shares v u...
how she wishes tat u cld appear in front of her now..
she needs ur shoulder now..
too tired to go..
too heartbreak to hope..
in muar,
she trusts u the most.
she knows tat u r the only one who will by her side whenever ups or downs.
karyn is in agony now..**
Saturday, 4 June 2011
share moments.share life..
It's my 2nd blog..
feel kinda bad to sign up for a new one but am forced to do so..=(
will try my very best to update my blog even though m staying in a boarding school.
promise not to let spiders-flowers-bees have their fun inside my blog =]
It's June and time does really fly...
Karyn,dust it off n stand up again..
make sure ur consious is always clear..
stay strong n tough..
Remember your heart is stronger than you think.
sometimes you want to run away and you may not have the patience for the pain that you may face,
even when you lose your faith,remember to always look into your heart.
you will realize your heart goes on to push you on..
karyn can go and be her own miracle.
feel kinda bad to sign up for a new one but am forced to do so..=(
will try my very best to update my blog even though m staying in a boarding school.
promise not to let spiders-flowers-bees have their fun inside my blog =]
It's June and time does really fly...
Karyn,dust it off n stand up again..
make sure ur consious is always clear..
stay strong n tough..
Remember your heart is stronger than you think.
sometimes you want to run away and you may not have the patience for the pain that you may face,
even when you lose your faith,remember to always look into your heart.
you will realize your heart goes on to push you on..
karyn can go and be her own miracle.
 |
karyn hearts u guysss.. smilesss.!!! |
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